part eight: rats put in lockers and dads' former flings / these are a few of my favorite things

After we finished talking with our new hired detective, I jogged quickly back over and up to the apartment, hoping that Dad wouldn't question too much where I'd been.
However, when I walked in, out of breath and sweaty, there was no one else there. So much for that.

I wondered where Dad was. I was a little concerned, since I hadn't heard anything, and I quickly dialed his number. But the call shut off after only one ring. Hm. I guessed that his phone was probably dead. That was my best bet, anyway, although I toyed with the idea of him having been chased by the police like I had been. It's funny, Dad always says I should call him and keep him updated on what's going on, and then he forgets to charge his phone and the entire point is moot. Moot. What a funny word.

So I made up my mind, and did the most obvious thing to do when home alone: make pasta! I put the water on to boil, put a little salt and oil into it, and was looking around for a lid when the door slammed in the front room. Through the door to the kitchen came my father.
"Dad!" I exclaimed excitedly. I was going to say something else, too, but I forgot it.
Some random gorgeous woman walked in behind him.

Let me stop and explain something, just so you understand my actions.

Dad doesn't... date. I don't mean that he just has a series of one-night stands, either. Dad's life has been entirely devoid of women for the entire time I'd known him. I didn't ever have a mom, or anyone I even thought of as a mom.
The first time I asked Dad about why my friends all had mommies and daddies and I didn't, he tried to explain it to me as best he could. He really did. "Well," he'd told me, "you weren't like other babies, Xiu Li. You didn't come out of your mama. Instead, you were all alone as a baby, and you needed a home. That's when I found you and decided you were the perfect little girl." He'd tweaked my nose, but I'd ignored him, since that was an awful lot to sink in. "So I don't have a mommy?"
"No," he said. I'd promptly burst into tears.

Although that was my initial reaction to learning that I was the adopted child of a bachelor, I moved through various stages of opinion on the matter. For a period of about two years, I convinced myself that I was secretly the Tsarina of Bratislava. It didn't matter that Bratislava didn't, and doesn't, have a tsarina. I was obviously given up by my real parents so that I could be safe from the evil people who wanted to kill me. Well, safe until I was old enough to fend for myself.
Sometimes I hated Dad for it, too. I wanted to be with my real parents, and I brought it up every time we fought in my preteen years.
"Go to your room!" he'd shout, to which I would sassily reply, "You're not my real dad!"
That argument didn't really work, obviously.

But through it all, I'd never had a mom. Never called anyone "mom." Never even really wanted a mom. I had a dad, and that was that. When I needed a bra, I asked my dad. When I started my period, my dad took me to buy pads and tampons. When I was feeling sad, my dad did the best he could to reassure me.
"Why didn't my real parents love me?!" I was thirteen.
"Xiu Li, maybe they did. Sometimes these things happen. Sometimes you have to give up people you love, to death, or to other people. But even if they didn't, does it matter? I love you, and Chinese or not, you're my little girl."
As I phased back into real life, I could almost see the ghost of Dad's face saying that to me over and over.

And here he was with some random woman. Have I mentioned Dad doesn't date? I've never seen him flirt with a woman. Actually, I rarely see him talk to women, unless you count me, and I'm not sure if I really count yet. I'm only fifteen, after all.
It's not that I thought Dad was gay, even. He just had never shown romantic interest in another human being at any point in the last decade and a half. I'd attributed it to his being an incurable dork. A male old maid.

The woman had stylish, curly hair. She had beautiful skin. Gorgeous eyes. I cringed slightly with envy. But I had finished looking at her. I was mad now.
"Dad!" I yelled. "Who the hell is in our apartment?"
It was actually a fairly clever test, since I could tell by his embarrassment that he did care about this person.
He muttered awkwardly, "Be nice, Xiu Li."

"Oh, that's great," I said. Be nice indeed. "Bring a girl home. You could've warned me." She didn't look like a prostitute, though, which eased my concerns a little. The woman looked like she felt a little awkward now, though, and I was somewhat oddly delighted to infuriate Dad.
"This is Nova," said Dad pointedly. "She was my high school girlfriend. You've actually met before."
I gave her a look. No, we hadn't. Dad had never even mentioned her name to me before. Was I just little when I knew her? Or was it like one of those memory things from Men in Black? I was so baffled. I hate when stuff like this happens.
It's kinda like when you're cooking and suddenly the instructions say "and then add half a cup of butter," and you're like, wtf! The ingredients didn't say butter! I don't have any butter! But it's like ADDBUTTER and you're like, screw you, cookbook! But the point remains that butter is in the recipe. And so was Nova.
"I don't believe you," I said out loud.
I didn't want to believe that my life has butter in it. Margarine was fine. Is that a weird metaphor? I guess Dad wasn't really margarine. Or Nova butter. I'll drop the comparison.

Dad had actually had a girlfriend. I was stunned. I internally laughed at myself for being so stunned.
I collapsed into the arm chair.
Feeling cutesy and obnoxious, I continued my streak of yelling. I didn't want Nova to like me. I wanted to make her leave.
"Like Supernova?" Perfect. Spike her name.
She looked slightly pained, but then she actually spoke to me.
"That's original," she said, but with a smile. She was being sarcastic. Oh, so two were playing this game.
It was time to drop the intercourse bomb. "If you're going to have sex with my dad," I informed her, grinning at the face my dad was probably making over my shoulder, "you'll have to go somewhere else."
That much was actually sort of true. I heard banging every morning. I definitely didn't need to hear it at night, and especially not the sexxy luuvvve funnn bouncy happy kind.
Nova didn't even flinch, though. "I'm thirty-three, little miss," she said, rocking the condescending nicknames, "and I'll fornicate wherever I please, thanks."
Snap! She was good.
I busied myself trying to think of a solid comeback to that, and Dad provided it for me.
"Nova's a doctor," he offered. "She's here looking for a job."
Laid out in front of me like a platter. "There's a lovely place called Isabella's Cafe down the street, although you may have trouble getting above minimum wage with those legs of yours."
I was bluffing; her legs were fabulous. In hindsight, I should've mentioned that they wanted nurses and not doctors.
"You seem to have quite a bit of knowledge about the establishment," said Nova smoothly, and the conversation was over.
"I got chased by the police once," I said.
"Did you, now? For underage prostitution?"
"Please, I'm a B cup." I smiled. "Actually, for assaulting a postmaster."
"You shouldn't take family issues to work."
"I didn't. If that guy was my family, you'd be able to tell, because I'd be considerably uglier."
"Oh well. Go back to that first part. Why did the police arrest you? Did they read you your Miranda rights?"
Nova was very quick-witted, I noticed. It was a bit hard to keep up with her.
As we chatted, Dad finished up the pasta that I'd been cooking, and we all ate.

Happily consuming calories, I found myself listening to a breakup story. Nova was single. She'd been engaged to a man who then cheated on her. I muttered "Bastard" under my breath, and Dad elbowed me and mouthed something about language. "Do tell," I said.
I eventually found myself talking about Annalisa and the happenings of today, what with Detective Alistair Oxley and all that. Poor Dad seemed to be on the other team here. Nova was like my cool aunt, except that that would've meant she and Dad were probably incestuous at some point.
I told Dad and Nova about my antique shop detective, and then decided to go to bed.
Nova wasn't half bad, I concluded. I wondered if she was staying. Very snarky woman. Annalisa would've loved her.

As I climbed into bed, I heard Dad's and Nova's voices from the kitchen.
I decided I still didn't want her to stay, despite our compatibility.

==========================

I was woken up the next morning not by an alarm, but by a text from Arjun with seven words.
We are the counterculture. Crash swim practice.
I texted him back, and we arranged to meet right outside the pool.

I hadn't been exactly sure what he'd meant by that, so I wondered curiously as I walked over there. When I arrived, Arjun was already standing behind a post near the pool. I walked up.
"So what do you mean, crash swim practice?"

He grinned. "First of all, Xiu Li, I've had an idea."
I nodded, prompting him.
"We are going to be the craziest pranksters ever."
Ordinarily this would've sounded lame, but I rolled with it due to my current social situations. It would be a nice distraction from looking for Annalisa.
"Okay," I said, somewhat excited. "And now?"
"We stand silently at the edge of the pool and stare at people," he said.
It turned out to be a stroke of brilliance.

The swim team showed up and started practicing, and Arjun and I were already stationed at one end of the pool or the other. We stared menacingly and blankly at the girls as they did their warmups. I could tell when Marianna became the first to notice our presence, because she jumped a bit, whispered something to the Shannons and Ruby, and then they all looked up too.

I tried forcefully not to laugh. Just stared. I tried to channel my anger into one magnificent death stare.

For the entirety of swim practice, the girls looked up, disturbed, every few seconds. They weren't doing so hot, either. The coach yelled at them, but when they told him what was going on, he came over to talk to me.
"Good morning," he said, in that falsely jovial tone of one who does not, in fact, hope you have a good morning.
"Hello," I said calmly. "Can I help you?"
"Yes. You can stop interfering with my girls' swim practice."
"Are you kicking me out?" I said. "Ooh, I'm scared. That's never happened before."
The coach turned a bit red. "Xiu Li, I don't regret my decision to kick you off this team. Now perhaps you should get out of here before I report you."
Arjun and I walked backwards out of the pool area, still staring at the swimmers until we were out of sight.

Once we were, we high fived. "I can't believe we just did that," I laughed.
Arjun hugged me. "Okay," I said. "We have got to get an agreement down about this relationship of ours."
And so it was. While we walked over to the school, we came to a consensus that hugging was the limit of our physical contact, and he decided that I had to help him pick up guys when we went out places.
I frowned. "That hardly seems fair. And you're not even out."
"Whatever," said Arjun.

We'd arrived at the school.
"Brainstorm pranks throughout the day," I said over the bell ringing.
And I sauntered into first period, eager to see Hana's face in response to our lovely little trick.
She didn't even look at me. I felt smug. Sort of.
So I doodled all the way through math class and idly paid attention to cosines and secants. But I also followed my own instructions, and brainstormed some.
I looked over at the back of Hana's head, where her blonde ponytail swung slightly.
That had to go.
But that was a little too mean, and I didn't want to do any pranks that I could get in serious trouble for. This was just for fun. We weren't trying to hurt anyone.

I took a deep breath and continued writing.

hamster in locker
soap random things on her car
spam email?
scavenger hunt leading to a dirty sock

I laughed to myself silently, and folded up the list to show Arjun later.
I listened for the rest of math about more trigonometry things. I realized that I was coasting somewhat. I hoped the detective guy would be able to find Annalisa.
But what if he couldn't?
I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

In 2nd period chem, Arjun and I brainstormed broader pranks. These would involve more people, and could not be construed as a personal attack on anyone. The two main ideas we had were setting up a table for signing autographs during lunch and hanging a "Ski Area" sign over the teachers' lounge and letting the students do the work themselves.
We agreed that we could do both of those tomorrow in school. For the first time since I'd been kicked off the swim team, I felt happy in school. Looking forward to tomorrow and all that jazz.

Of my Hana pranks, Arjun really liked the hamster idea, and he promised to help me coordinate it after school. Our conversation was interrupted, though, by the teacher handing back our centrifuge lab.
An A. We high-fived.

In lit class, I oinked every seven minutes and held my nose a couple times. The teacher didn't notice, thank God, but Adelaide gave me quite a stank face.
I didn't care. I was having much more fun than any of them. Besides, it was funny to watch their reactions to my oinking. Some scooted away from me. One brave girl bleated ten minutes before the end of class. I gave her a thumbs-up, but she avoided my gaze.

At lunch, we assigned responsibilities. I had to figure out Hana McMurray's locker combination. Arjun had to scope out teachers' planning periods and look at what times would be best for hanging a SKI AREA poster.
I had World History after lunch, and we were actually doing work. I couldn't do much brainstorming, and since I was slightly late coming in from lunch, Hana had already gone to her locker.
When the bell rang after class, I tailed Hana discreetly down the hallway, and dropped a couple papers on the ground so that I could stand near her and watch at her locker. I felt incredibly stealthy. Hana took no notice of me as I acquired the necessary information.
6, 32, 20.

I don't usually talk about art class, but I will today, because it's relevant.
In the middle of art, I raised my hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom.
I did go to the bathroom, but I also put a small stick in the door of one of the less-known entrances to the school. That way, we knew we could get back in later to deliver a hamster.
Right as I arrived back in art class, my counselor called me in and told me I needed to switch to P.E. now, since I was no longer on the swim team.
Urgh.
As if that wasn't bad enough, my counselor decided to talk to me about absolutely nothing for the remaining hour of the school day.

After the last bell rang, Arjun and I met up outside. After a quick chat, it was decided that we would go get a snack, swing by the detective's shop, and then go to the pet shop.

"I propped the door open," I said as we walked off the school grounds. He grinned. "Marvelous. Did you get her locker combination?"
I smiled. "Maybe."
"Stop screwing around! Did you or didn't you?" He punched my shoulder.
"Yeah, I did. 6, 32, 20. Now shut up."

A short while later, we walked towards Jack's Jems, one chocolate bar apiece fuller and carrying a bag of chips. But when we actually arrived at the shop, it was closed. Shut tight. I hoped that was good news.
"Now what?" said Arjun.
"I mean, I suppose maybe he's out looking for her?"
Neither one of us knew.
After some discussion of how to react, we opted for leaving a note on the door.

Hi Mr. Detective-- (Very clever on my part)
We dropped by, but you weren't here... we'll probably stop by again soon, we just wanted to know if you've made any progress towards finding Annalisa!
I felt a little adrenaliney at the prospect of possibly finding her. Maybe he would show up with Annalisa, and when I turned around, she'd be there... ack, I was getting distracted again.
--Xiu Li and Arjun


Then we went into the pet shop. Good lord, it was noisy in there. After searching for hamsters in the smelly, noisy chaos for a few minutes, we asked the store owner. He seemed somewhat grumpy, (ha, I just accidentally typed "frumpy" and fixed it) but we did get one important piece of information: there were no hamsters at Alfonso's pet shop. "We do, however, have rats," he said.
We exchanged glances.
"That'll do," I said.
We picked out a beautiful white rat. I actually grew a little attached to it in the short time it took us to walk back to the school, but I knew that what with Persephone and Fuzzballe, there was absolutely no chance of keeping a rat. At least not alive. I felt a little nauseous at that last thought.

We also had bought it a nice little cage, and some food and water. We didn't want the poor little rat to die for the sake of a stupid prank. Arjun called me a softie for being so adamant about getting it food, but I held firm.

Then, it was ninja time.

We sauntered casually down the street and back behind the school building.
The door, thankfully, was ajar, just as I'd left it. We crept through the door and removed the prop.
Then we walked down the hallway as stealthily as one can without anything to hide behind. Like, seriously, that last part had me really frightened for most of the endeavor.

Arjun followed me as we navigated through the halls to Hana's locker. "Right here," I said. "The top one."
"What did you say the numbers were?" I had never heard anyone whisper so quietly, but a couple of teachers were still in the building, and we couldn't risk it.
I mouthed as clearly as I could. I even held my breath. "6. 32. 20."

It didn't open.
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't know what would happen if we got caught, but I knew it wouldn't be a positive consequence. Thankfully, Arjun opened it easily after the second try. We fed the rat, left it with plenty of food, and placed the cage gingerly in Hana's locker.

Then we ran as silently as we could out of the school.

We'd gotten no farther than the orphanage before we started laughing maniacally. It was even funnier because it had been so ridiculously silent inside the school, and now here we were bellowing and chuckling and snorting uproariously. I love the word uproariously. Say it out loud!

"What do we do now?" I asked Arjun, holding my sides from laughing so hard.
He couldn't breathe. I started laughing at him again, and it was another two minutes before he responded.
"I don't know," he said.
"We could go to my place and watch TV. My dad probably wouldn't mind."
Arjun nodded, and we continued laughing as we made our way back to Castle Apartments.
We ended up watching about two-thirds of some action movie-- I think it was Die Hard-- and then he got a phone call and had to go home.

Not fifteen minutes after Arjun left, though, there was a knock on the door. I wondered if he'd come back. Dad had a key. Unless he'd forgotten it; that was definitely plausible.

So, against all the instructions of anyone who's ever taught in elementary schools or been a parent, I opened the door. Nope. I'd been wrong on both counts. It was Nova. "Uh, hi," she said.
I decided to play up the awkwardness. I just stared at her menacingly.
"I have a job now," she said. I blinked. "Is your dad home?" I was succeeding in making her uncomfortable, but I felt that I did owe her a response.
"No, not yet."
I silently sent her vibes to come in. So she came into the apartment. She didn't say anything to me; I was dying of laughter on the inside imagining what her thoughts were. Especially since I'd been so wonderously bitchy the night before. Instead of speaking, she sat down and watched the last part of Die Hard with me.

Then she did talk. "So, Xiu Li."
"Yeah?"
"So, I need to find a place to stay. I can't stay here with your dad."
"No, you can't." I was vehement about this.
"Well, aren't you a little hospitable ray of sunshine," she said, and grinned at me. I smiled faintly back.
"Sorry," I said, "but frankly, that's kinda weird."
She nodded.
"And there's no point unless you're going to get back together with Dad. Is that what you want?"
There was a very long pause following that one. Nova sighed.
"Not really, I guess." I gave her an inquisitive look.
"After my ex-husband, though, he's so much better," she added thoughtfully. "Your dad's a great guy, Xiu Li."
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to agree with that or if I was being informed of something. I exercised my fifth amendment rights once more.
"But no. I don't love him anymore," she said. "And you're right."
I nodded again.
"Do me a favor," Nova said. "I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Tell him I came by, but don't say what I told you. Say I said thanks for helping me in finding a job, and hopefully we can stay in touch."
I gave her a look. "'Stay in touch?'"
"Okay, okay. And that maybe I'll see him around."
"Better," I said.
She smirked at me, and headed for the door.

Wow.
Suddenly, I didn't want her to go.
"Wait!" I'd never seen her look so baffled.
"Can you stay a couple minutes?"
Now she just looked curious. "Why?"
Then one of those perfect-timing moments happened, and my phone rang.
It was Dad, saying he was going to be late.
"That was Dad," I told her. "He's going to be late getting home because he took the bus to the next town over to talk to their post office."
"Okay, great," she said. "But why am I still here? Remind me?"
I couldn't believe myself.
"Could you tell me stories about you and Dad?" I stared at the ground. "It's just, I never knew you. And I'd kinda like to know."
"Has Renshu really not dated anyone since I left?" I shook my head. "This could be awkward, Xiu Li. I hope you know that."
I nodded. I was doing a lot of that. Then I thought of something.
"Don't tell me anything nasty! I just want to know what he was like."
"Well," she said, and thought for a long time. "For one, he was a lot crazier. Really outgoing. Somewhat irresponsible."
That got my attention.
"Like how?"
"Well," said Nova hesitantly, "once he took me out to this party, the week before his dad died."
The pauses seemed to be getting increasingly unpleasant.
"You do know about that, right?" she said, as if she wished she didn't have to ask.
Dad and I don't really have that many heart-to-hearts. We're close, but he tells me only what I specifically asked about. I knew both his parents had died when he was 18. That was all.
"Sorta," I said. She took that as a no, but didn't explain it very well.
"Well. Um, your grandpa died in a car wreck, that Renshu was in."
I didn't even get a chance to react before she continued.
"We threw a party in this park. The point of the party was to be... wasted without being wasted. It was a bit of a social experiment."
I thought of my current pranks and marveled a bit at my dad.
"He wanted to see how people reacted around us. What's funny is that I was convinced that everyone was drunk, even though I knew they weren't. One girl threw up repeatedly, even." I laughed. "Two boys kissed each other and regretted it later. Everyone was so... drunk... that we all kind of forgot we weren't. It was the most interesting psychology ever."
That actually was really interesting, but she hadn't finished talking yet.
"Well, the police showed up, since we were underage, and tried to arrest us." She was laughing now. "And then they brought out the breathalizers, and we were all sober." I giggled at that.
"God, you should've seen their faces," she said, and snorted.
I was laughing uproariously. There's my word again.
"And Dad?"
"His dad thought it was funny as hell," said Nova, "but his mom wasn't so amused."
She put on a weird voice, still laughing.
"THE LAW IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH." We both sat there for a minute, still laughing.
"Well, you know that can be true, though," she said, more seriously.
I giggled.
"Dad should be home soon, though."
"Yeah. I should go."
Nova hugged me. "I almost wish I'd stayed to be your mom," she said. "Except really not. But you get me."
I smiled. "Yeah. Hopefully we can hang out in a noncreepy way."
We agreed that she was my aunt, and she left.
Dad came home about ten minutes later.

"Nova dropped by," I said nonchalantly. "She has a job, and she told me to thank you."
I was relieved to see that he didn't look completely heartbroken.
"Cool," he said.
He seemed completely exhausted.
I tried talking to him for a couple minutes, but eventually just told him to go to bed. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I opted to wait on that, on a hunch.

I went to bed about an hour after that, after checking my email and Facebook and such.
As my mind made the descent into slumber, I grinned to no one in particular about the rat awaiting Hana.

part seven: my gay boyfriend helps me find Jane Patterson

I had a headache the moment I rolled out of bed in the morning. The noise from upstairs wasn't really helping, either. But I swear, it was louder in my room. So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and flopped down on the couch. What, I asked myself, was I going to do today?

I vowed that I would continue daily on my quest to rescue Annalisa, and I could think of only one thing left to do: go to the orphanage and ask about her real name. Maybe Annalisa had tried to protect her new identity by sabotaging her old one? I was definitely grasping at straws, said one part of my brain. The stubborn part of my brain attacked it and told it to shut up. I had to try.

As I lay on the couch thinking about Annalisa and my headache (a 50-50 ratio), Dad came out of the room. He didn't say anything to me, so I didn't say anything to him. I just closed my eyes and listened to the dulcet tones of him getting ready for work. It made a nice duet with the metallic pipe noises.

The duet ended with the final chord of "doorslam," and I sat up groggily. I grabbed a quasishower and then walked over to school. Maybe it was the days lengthening that did it, but it felt really late. I was so used to getting up insanely early for swim practice, and even leaving later than usual, I still ended up sitting by myself outside the school for about forty minutes. I listened to music for the first thirty-four, until my iPod died, and then I sat there without saying anything.

At long last, the bell rang, and I walked into math and took my regular seat. Hana didn't even acknowledge me. I sat through math class, paying only moderate attention, and she never said a word to me. Apparently, the swim team had been a rather exclusive and bitchy clique. One that I was now out of. This was idiotic. So I took a nap.

I had a rather fascinating dream about Annalisa. In this dream, as she was dragged whimpering down the tunnel, I jumped out and sword-fought the police, stabbing them both through the heart. But then this weird Medusa effect happened, and they both grew two hearts where I'd stabbed the first one. Suddenly they were really compassionate, and let both of us go. We skipped off down the streets, which were orange, and--

The bell rang. I jumped and grabbed my books in one fell swoop, and sauntered out of the classroom just behind Hana, who swung her obnoxious ponytail in my face as I crossed the threshold into the hallway.

Thank God I had chem next. I walked into chem with an enormous smile, and my enthusiasm was matched only by Arjun's grin and loud exclamation, "Hey, Babs!"
I didn't think I really liked the nickname, but I rolled with it. As it turned out, we had a lab involving a centrifuge, and we worked as partners.
As I added the chemicals to our second test tube, he looked up and said conversationally, "So, what were you sick with, anyway?"
I froze. Did he know I wasn't sick? I didn't have any idea how to answer that. But now I'd paused too long. "Uh, chicken pox," I said less-than-confidently.
He shot me an impressively withering glance. Oops, crap...
"Nice scars, then, genius."
Shit. "On my back?" I offered. But he'd found me out already. I just smiled.
"Next time, try a plain "it was a virus." Anyway, so what was up?" he asked again. I answered a slightly different question than he asked.
"I'm on a mission," I told him, cryptically. But it was almost our turn for the centrifuge.
"Tell me at lunch?" said Arjun.
I nodded.

Lit was absolutely miserable. I was completely alone. It was like some awful sitcom, where I was the invisible girl in the corner while everyone else talked and laughed. I wanted to pinch myself, or wave my hands in front of someone's faces. Even the teacher ignored me. Once, about three-fourths of the way through class, a boy came up to me. I was actually excited that someone realized I existed, until he asked me for a pencil sharpener.

I was the first one out the classroom door when the bell rang. I would've swung my ponytail in Hana's face, but she had hung back to talk to Carrie and the Shannons.

Arjun actually wasn't at lunch. But I got a text as I sat down that said he had a project. I saved his number to my phone, and wondered how he'd gotten mine. A girl walked past my lunch table and told me that she didn't care what others said, she thought Arjun and I were positively adorable together. I never did figure out who she was. Isn't that the strangest thing? When people know you, like, obviously, and you really don't have the wildest clue as to who they are?

Apparently the world was convinced that Arjun was my boyfriend. I bet myself a snack that he had probably done that intentionally. I didn't really care, though. I was busy being interested in the strange nature of our sudden friendship. Instafriends. Just add being in the closet and being kicked out of cliques. Okay, that wasn't actually funny. Sorry.

After school, I walked outside and went to call Arjun to see if he was free. I was hoping that maybe I could tell him about my plot and maybe even drag him along to the orphanage. I really shouldn't have even been worried, though, because no sooner had I dialed the number than he appeared behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Arjun!"
He busted out laughing and let go of me. "People already think we're going out. Isn't this a bit far?"
But I kind of liked it. Was I that much of an attention whore? I definitely didn't like Arjun like that.
He just stood there and laughed. "We're going to the orphanage," I said.
He stopped laughing and looked puzzled. "Why?"
"I'll explain on the way."

I didn't give him the full spiel like I had to Dad and Dmitri. I wondered fleetingly what had happened to Dmitri, anyway. I would've liked to have thought he was my friend. But suddenly he was out of my life. Like Annalisa, but not. Anyway, so I told Arjun the general outline of things, and we got to the orphanage with that beautiful cinematic perfect timing of mine.

I walked up to the front desk. The lady looked like she didn't know what to make of us. Too young to be adopting. Too lacking-in-baby to be giving up. I answered her thoughts. "We're looking to check the orphanage records," I said. "Actually, to be precise, looking for a girl named Jane adopted in 2007-ish."

The woman fiddled with some paperwork and a computer for a few minutes. "Jane Patterson? That's the only Jane I have here."
Sure. Jane Patterson. "Yeah, that's her. Thanks."
"What? Oh... I mean, okay."
I thanked the lady for her time and we walked out.

"Want to get sodas?" I asked Arjun. I didn't have any homework, and I knew Dad would be really busy with his job anyway. So we did. We sat there, and he had a Coke, and I had a Fanta. Not that it matters for the story. I tried to make a joke about how he should have the Fanta because he's the fruity one, but he just glared at me.
I grinned.
"So, wait," he said, abruptly changing topics. "You know her as Annalisa, but her real name is Jane Patterson? Why'd she change it?"
"She had a new life. Wanted more glamour, I guess. At least, that's what she told me."
He nodded pensively. "What's she like?"
"Strong," I said. "Not specifically physically. But emotionally very strong. Realistic. Tall, with really long chocolatey hair, kinda wavylike." I paused and sipped my Fanta. "She's really a bitch at first, but then she opens up to you and she's wonderfully hilarious." Another pause. "The best friend I've ever had. No offense."
"None taken." He was smirking at me. "A bit of a hypocrite, aren't you?"
"What?" I was genuinely confused.
"Nothing, then," said Arjun, still smiling. "Um. I hate to be presumptuous--"
I shook my head. "Don't say it. Don't say anything."
"What?"
"I don't know."
There was a silence so thick that I could've karate-chopped it with my foot.
"What do we do now?" I said, changing the topic again for the umpteenth time.
"Have you asked the police?"
"Yep. Hold it-- but not about Jane Patterson."

We paid for our sodas and went back to the police station. "Hi," I said smoothly as we sauntered in like we knew what we were doing. "I'm looking to see if the police have a Jane Patterson on record."
Front Desk Man took forever to check, and then spoke.
"Jane Adamson," he said. "No Pattersons."

Another dead end. It was getting well into the afternoon by now. We sat on the curb and talked about random things. Birds. Sleepovers. Gossip. Bitchy swim girls.
Suddenly, Arjun leaped to his feet. "Babs. Let's go."
"Why? What? Where?"
"There's an antique shop near the pet store. I think the guy also claims to be a detective."
I was incredibly suspicious. Usually I'm not in the habit of hiring or talking to random detectives. Do they even have those? I mean, outside the FBI. But I thought a minute. I really had nothing to lose. Except possibly money.

So we walked over to Jack's Jems (hilariously sketchy name...) and into the store. There was a guy standing in there, presumably the salesperson/detective.
"Can I help you?" He seemed to be pretty nice. I was still a bit dubious about modern-day antique shop detectives. But I swallowed that.
"You're the detective?"
He was.
"I need you to help me. I've lost my best friend."
"Go on."
I started talking, and he pulled out a sheet of paper and started taking notes.
"Her real name is Jane Patterson. She was supposedly adopted at age 12, but really just went to live in secret tunnels under the city and changed her name to Annalisa. Tall, white, with chocolatey long hair."
That was the second time I'd used that today.
"My name is Xiu Li Zheng. I was living with her up until a few days ago, when she sacrificed herself to the police for me." I ignored Arjun's facial expressions and whatever he was mouthing at me.
He examined his notes.
"Please," I said, a little too desperately. "This is my last way, and I've told you everything I can. Please. I need you to find Annalisa."

part six: so normal isn't normal anymore

Poke.

I didn't know how long I'd been asleep on those stupid stiff plastic waiting room chairs, but now I was awake. You know how you don't sleep very well when you're uncomfortable and have a lot on your mind? Yeah! That!

I wiped the drool off my chin like Dad hadn't already noticed and waited for my brain processes to kick in: long term to short term, in rapid progression. My identity, my childhood, my time in the housenook, my reunion with Dad, how we got here, and why I was sleeping in the waiting room.
"Dad! Are you feeling better?" I got up too fast. My head was swimming a little bit, and my back was sore from those stupid plastic chairs. But he seemed fine. Even before he nodded, I could tell he looked better. He had more color in his face. Oh, and less blood on his chin. I kept waiting for him to cough, but he didn't.

Instead, he said something: "Let's go home." Ah, what a wonderful phrase. And so it was. We left the clinic and headed home. The weather wasn't really that miserable, thankfully, and the sun was just coming up. I don't think of Dad as being an early riser, but I don't think of him as the type to develop random, probably fatal instadiseases, either. So I let it go. We walked up the stairs, and I pushed open the door. Immediately Persephone and Fuzzballe were at my ankles. I haven't yet had much bonding time with Fuzzballe, actually. But cats are like that-- as soon as they get hungry, the world is their friend. Or their snack, I suppose. Depending on how small you are.

Would cats eat other cats if the other cats were rat-sized? Just wondering.

I'm getting distracted. So I fed the cats, at which point both of them suddenly lost their enthusiasm for my company, Fuzzballe more than Persephone.

When I emerged from the kitchen, Dad was sprawled out across our couch. It then hit me that I had no idea what we were going to do. I mean, to some extent, things had to go back to normal, and so I probably was going back to school (the thought suddenly seemed terrifying for some reason), but what was Dad going to do? I thought a minute, and then stood definitively in front of Dad. "So," I announced.

"So," he said, which, in my experience, always means, "I don't have anything to say. Do you?"
I did, though. "What do we do now?" Dad pondered that for a minute. I guess I was under the mistaken impression that he'd thought farther ahead than I had -- wait. Further? Farther? What's the freaking difference? Whatever. Anyway, I thought he'd... thought of things more in advance, you know, because he's my father. (Ha, which looks like "farther." I am so distracted. Focus, Xiu Li.) Oh, no. Nothing about my criminal record yet to be dealt with. His clever response? "Well, I hate to say it, but..."
"I'm going back to school." I stole his punch line. "I expected that. But what are you going to do?"
He looked like I'd just reminded him of a science project on a Sunday night. It made me smirk a bit. But his response was coherent.
"Going to work. I have some money to give to my boss."
I liked that. It made me feel powerful. Dad sat up.
He grimaced and tried to cover it up. "Well, you go... take a shower and get ready for school."
"I can take a hint, Dad." But he hadn't mentioned the whole police business. So I took a deep breath and brought it up.
"You don't think the police will be worried?"

Suddenly I needed a faster shower. I hadn't even noticed how bad I smelled until I got a nice little reminder about what coconut shampoo smelled like. Even with all the dirt, though, showering faster wasn't hard, because now I was nervous. What if I'd somehow committed an obscure felony? How could I prove that DuBolaire had been just as nasty to me? Suddenly I realized I had nothing left to wash, and turned the water off.

Here we go, I thought, and after putting on clothes (duh), Dad and I were out the door. The walk to the police station could not have taken any longer. By the time we finally got there, I was just about ready to explode. Like, literally. But not really literally, because that would be stupid. But really. I was so tightly wound that I almost ran into the glass door. Dad started talking to the guy at the desk, asking for Officer Richard. I felt a twinge of guilt at my dad being on first-name basis with police officers. A guy came out of the back room and looked at me. Usually when people meet me, they're surprised that I'm not Chinese, but he just grinned. "We found your daughter!" he announced. "She's standing next to you."
I tuned out a bit as Dad explained the whole fiasco to Officer Richard. Had he or the awkward man at the front desk been there when Annalisa was dragged away? Did they know where she was? Suddenly I realized that Officer Richard had said something to me.
Oops. What did he say?
I racked my brains. Something about me. And the post office.
"Uh, yeah, I guess that was me," I said.
I'd guessed correctly, thankfully.
"You got out of the police car."
Yeah, I had... I was such a badass!
"Um, yes."
"And you think that coming in and giving us an apology is going to fix everything?"
Crap! I didn't know what to say. I examined my feet. But I'd misread him.
"Don't worry. We have better things to do than look out for teenage girls causing ruckuses in the post office. I'm just sorry we didn't put two and two together and get you back to your dad. I know the postmaster, and my best guess is he provoked you anyway."
Ha, I'll say.
He patted my shoulder and told me to go to school.

As Dad and I walked away, I suddenly felt awful. "I didn't ask about Annalisa," I said aloud. Dad turned sharply. "You barely got off clean as is! Do you really want to be on that report, too?"
Right. She was just as much in trouble as I... would have thought I'd be.
"Officer Richard had a point," he said. "Go to school. And come home straight afterwards, or call me. We aren't doing this runaway business anymore."

I didn't know what else to do. So I turned and walked off down the street towards the school. On the way, I took out my phone and called Shoes & Etc.. (Is that correctly punctuated?) I resigned, and my boss seemed to understand. I didn't really want to go back to school, though. It felt... so unnatural. Now I knew why dropouts hardly ever went back. It just wasn't part of my world anymore. And I hadn't even been gone that long...

I wished Annalisa were there. It'd have been more fun if my first day back was her first day, period. But she was off somewhere else. Maybe Officer Richard was talking to her right now. In a cold jail cell. My fault.

I shook my head. I was at the school now. The bell rang as I walked up, which would have made me feel lucky if I'd been in a better mood. I walked into the school building in a huge crowd of people my age. They all seemed so... sheltered now, talking about who liked who and what was for lunch. How many of them even knew an orphan? Or people who live under cities? I was starting to feel too self-righteous, so I told my mind to shut up.

I walked into first period math. God, it had been a long time. I don't particularly like or hate math, so it wasn't inherently a positive or negative memory. The teacher almost skipped my name on the roll, she was so used to my absence.

I was sitting next to Hana McMurray, just like I always had. But she looked so fake. Had she always looked that fake? Did I look fake? I was feeling kinda J. D. Salinger now. "Hey, Hana," I said quietly.
She startled a little. "Ohmygod! Xiu Li!" She smiled fakely. "You're back! Where have you been?"

I hadn't even thought of that. I could have answered anything. I could've answered truthfully and been bombarded with questions about tunnels and secrets. But I wimped out at the last second. "Sick."

Her smile fell just a little. "Oh, okay." She paused. "By the way, I'm soooo sorry. I can't imagine if it were me."
I had no clue what she was talking about.
"For what?"
"You don't... know?"
She refused to tell me and only spoke to me with math-related questions for the rest of the period. She even ignored my note.

Finally, the bell rang, and I was off to chemistry.

I had forgotten so many things about high school. One of these things was Arjun. Arjun always flirted at me like crazy in chemistry. He used to call me his--
"Blonde Asian babe!"
Yeah. That.
And so began a dreadfully long class period in which Arjun used all of the new pickup lines that he'd come up with in my absence. I kind of may have possibly blown up at him. Just a little. But I didn't get the chance to see if it worked, because the bell finally rang.

I was really relieved for that, too, because most of my swim friends were in my third period Lit class. For a minute, I almost felt like everything was back to normal. I swung my bag over the back of the chair and sat down in between Shannon G. and Ruby. All of them were there. Marianna. Adelaide. Carrie. Shannon T. Hana. Everyone.

They all exclaimed for a minute over how I was back! And wasn't that awesome! And then... they started talking. "So, guys," said Shannon T., "I've been thinking about this weekend. I think if Ruby's mom would be okay with it, we could all sleep over!"
Ruby giggled. "Thanks for telling me, Shan," she said, and laughed obnoxiously.
"Thanks for selling my popcorn!" yelled Adelaide.
What?
Apparently, though, a ton of inside jokes had been born whilst I was under the city. I swear, the next fifteen minutes were just straight giggling about "Mariah's thunder," "ironing the towels," and "lampshades." I could only guess at what these stupid things meant or why they were funny.

Lunch was after third period, and I sat with the swim girls, just because I had nothing better to do. I kept thinking-- I only missed a little while. Yet that was enough, somehow. I was almost tempted to start talking about Annalisa. My time with her. My "date" with her at the theatre. But inside jokes are only funny if you have someone to share them with. I stopped listening, and just started watching them all laughing at stupid things. But suddenly, for a brief second, I did exist. Carrie, out of the blue, goes, "Wait! Has no one... told Xiu Li yet?"
Hello. I was right there.
"Told me what?"
Hana shushed her.
"No," I said, "this is the second time today. What?"
It was Shannon G. who finally spoke up. "You're off the swim team."
Suddenly, all the stupid fake laughter seemed really desirable.
"Well," said Adelaide, to no one in particular, "Coach did say to tell her so she didn't have to come to practice."
I swallowed a lump.
"What? Why?"
Shannon G. gave me what she probably thought was a sympathetic face. "Well, you missed too many practices."
"I was sick!"
Nobody said anything. They all just looked at me with piteous faces. I was finished.
I got up and left the table. Probably for the last time, though I didn't think of that until later.
Dammit.
As I walked off, I could've sworn I heard Marianna say, "Well, she wasn't that good anyway."

Annalisa, where are you? She would've known what to do. She was prettier than Marianna, anyway. But I felt ashamed. Maybe I was a bit obsessive. She probably wasn't thinking about me.


I sat down at an empty table as far from the swim team as I could, and put my head down on the table. I'd been there a few minutes before someone interrupted my thoughts.
"Hey, Babs."
"Babs?" I sat up. It was Arjun.
"Blonde Asian babe. You okay?"
I started to cry. I wasn't so much sad as angry. It would be Arjun to be the one to comfort me when I'd been exiled from my social circle. The only sad part was that I needed it.
"No," I said, and whimpered pathetically.
"You can tell me what's going on," he said, and put his arm around me.
Then I was angry again.
"Arjun, are you seriously hitting on me right now? Not the time."
He looked a little surprised. "You mean, like, do I like you?"
Oh, god. Maybe I shouldn't have.
He turned pink. "No."
"Like, for real, dude," I said. "This is ridiculous."
"No, Xiu Li. I swear." It took a minute for me to realize he used my actual name.
"Then why are you all over me all the freaking time?" I was probably a little too harsh.
"Xiu Li. I don't like you," he said. "I mean, I do, but not like that. You're..." He stopped.
"I'm what?" I said, more confused than anything.
"I mean," he said, "you seem cool. And you usually tolerate it. Until today, I mean."
I was so out of it. "What?"
"You're... kind of my cover-up," he said.
"What?" He didn't say anything. Oh.
"Oh, my god, Arjun... I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.
"Please don't tell anyone!" He was pleading with me. "They'd kill me if they knew."
"I swear, Arjun. I'd never tell. It's cool with me, anyway. I'm honestly just glad to have a friend."
We sat there for a minute, and then the bell rang. He got up really fast and went to leave. I yelled after him.
"Arjun!"
He looked back. "Yeah?"
"You can... hit on me all you want. If it helps."
He grinned. "Thanks!" he yelled back, and was swept away by the crowd of students going to class. The swim girls walked not far behind them. Had I really been friends with them so recently? They looked so... popular. Ugh, I hated the sound of the word. Too movie-like.

At least now I had another safe friend. But Arjun was no Annalisa. And he wasn't in any of my classes, either. It was like I didn't exist at all.

Finally, I went home.

I got angrier with each flight of stairs, and slammed the door behind me. I sat down in a chair and yelled, for no reason. Dad looked up, surprised. "Uh, hi there, honey. How was your day?"
I yelled again. "I've been kicked off the swim team."
He asked a couple more questions, but I got out of the conversation as soon as I possibly could and ran to my room. Dad told me through the door that he was going back to the office.

I was too busy thinking to respond. I was going to find Annalisa. That was the only way things would ever get better. So I started brainstorming.

Dad was at the office. First thing I needed to check was the police station, I agreed with no one in particular, and I took the spare key and jogged over there.

I swung open the door like a natural and talked straight to the guy at the front desk. Now I was on a mission. I felt so different from being the awkward, scared chick from this morning.

"Hey, is there an Annalisa on file?"
"Annalisa what?"
That struck cold. I had no idea what her last name was.
"No idea," I said nonchalantly. "She's seventeen."
He checked anyway, but there wasn't any record.
What a failure, dammit.

I opted for Plan B, and walked over to the orphanage. As soon as I could sneak through, I snuck down the tunnel with a battery lamp. I ran down the tunnels with a little lump in my throat. There was no way she'd be there. But it was so much more familiar than the lockerlined halls of the high school. I knew there'd be nothing, though, and I was right. The housenook was gone. Completely dismantled. Not even a trace of Annalisa. Where was she?


Dad was going to be home soon by that time, though. I went back to the apartment and lay down on the couch. No leads. Barely any friends. It felt so weird to relax when Annalisa was out there somewhere. God knew where. I punched one of the couch cushions.

I flipped on the TV and tried to tune out my brain with the help of some dumbass soap opera. I kept crying at it, for no good reason.

I felt like shit. Why did I feel like shit?