After we finished talking with our new hired detective, I jogged quickly back over and up to the apartment, hoping that Dad wouldn't question too much where I'd been.
However, when I walked in, out of breath and sweaty, there was no one else there. So much for that.
I wondered where Dad was. I was a little concerned, since I hadn't heard anything, and I quickly dialed his number. But the call shut off after only one ring. Hm. I guessed that his phone was probably dead. That was my best bet, anyway, although I toyed with the idea of him having been chased by the police like I had been. It's funny, Dad always says I should call him and keep him updated on what's going on, and then he forgets to charge his phone and the entire point is moot. Moot. What a funny word.
So I made up my mind, and did the most obvious thing to do when home alone: make pasta! I put the water on to boil, put a little salt and oil into it, and was looking around for a lid when the door slammed in the front room. Through the door to the kitchen came my father.
"Dad!" I exclaimed excitedly. I was going to say something else, too, but I forgot it.
Some random gorgeous woman walked in behind him.
Let me stop and explain something, just so you understand my actions.
Dad doesn't... date. I don't mean that he just has a series of one-night stands, either. Dad's life has been entirely devoid of women for the entire time I'd known him. I didn't ever have a mom, or anyone I even thought of as a mom.
The first time I asked Dad about why my friends all had mommies and daddies and I didn't, he tried to explain it to me as best he could. He really did. "Well," he'd told me, "you weren't like other babies, Xiu Li. You didn't come out of your mama. Instead, you were all alone as a baby, and you needed a home. That's when I found you and decided you were the perfect little girl." He'd tweaked my nose, but I'd ignored him, since that was an awful lot to sink in. "So I don't have a mommy?"
"No," he said. I'd promptly burst into tears.
Although that was my initial reaction to learning that I was the adopted child of a bachelor, I moved through various stages of opinion on the matter. For a period of about two years, I convinced myself that I was secretly the Tsarina of Bratislava. It didn't matter that Bratislava didn't, and doesn't, have a tsarina. I was obviously given up by my real parents so that I could be safe from the evil people who wanted to kill me. Well, safe until I was old enough to fend for myself.
Sometimes I hated Dad for it, too. I wanted to be with my real parents, and I brought it up every time we fought in my preteen years.
"Go to your room!" he'd shout, to which I would sassily reply, "You're not my real dad!"
That argument didn't really work, obviously.
But through it all, I'd never had a mom. Never called anyone "mom." Never even really wanted a mom. I had a dad, and that was that. When I needed a bra, I asked my dad. When I started my period, my dad took me to buy pads and tampons. When I was feeling sad, my dad did the best he could to reassure me.
"Why didn't my real parents love me?!" I was thirteen.
"Xiu Li, maybe they did. Sometimes these things happen. Sometimes you have to give up people you love, to death, or to other people. But even if they didn't, does it matter? I love you, and Chinese or not, you're my little girl."
As I phased back into real life, I could almost see the ghost of Dad's face saying that to me over and over.
And here he was with some random woman. Have I mentioned Dad doesn't date? I've never seen him flirt with a woman. Actually, I rarely see him talk to women, unless you count me, and I'm not sure if I really count yet. I'm only fifteen, after all.
It's not that I thought Dad was gay, even. He just had never shown romantic interest in another human being at any point in the last decade and a half. I'd attributed it to his being an incurable dork. A male old maid.
The woman had stylish, curly hair. She had beautiful skin. Gorgeous eyes. I cringed slightly with envy. But I had finished looking at her. I was mad now.
"Dad!" I yelled. "Who the hell is in our apartment?"
It was actually a fairly clever test, since I could tell by his embarrassment that he did care about this person.
He muttered awkwardly, "Be nice, Xiu Li."
"Oh, that's great," I said. Be nice indeed. "Bring a girl home. You could've warned me." She didn't look like a prostitute, though, which eased my concerns a little. The woman looked like she felt a little awkward now, though, and I was somewhat oddly delighted to infuriate Dad.
"This is Nova," said Dad pointedly. "She was my high school girlfriend. You've actually met before."
I gave her a look. No, we hadn't. Dad had never even mentioned her name to me before. Was I just little when I knew her? Or was it like one of those memory things from Men in Black? I was so baffled. I hate when stuff like this happens.
It's kinda like when you're cooking and suddenly the instructions say "and then add half a cup of butter," and you're like, wtf! The ingredients didn't say butter! I don't have any butter! But it's like ADDBUTTER and you're like, screw you, cookbook! But the point remains that butter is in the recipe. And so was Nova.
"I don't believe you," I said out loud.
I didn't want to believe that my life has butter in it. Margarine was fine. Is that a weird metaphor? I guess Dad wasn't really margarine. Or Nova butter. I'll drop the comparison.
Dad had actually had a girlfriend. I was stunned. I internally laughed at myself for being so stunned.
I collapsed into the arm chair.
Feeling cutesy and obnoxious, I continued my streak of yelling. I didn't want Nova to like me. I wanted to make her leave.
"Like Supernova?" Perfect. Spike her name.
She looked slightly pained, but then she actually spoke to me.
"That's original," she said, but with a smile. She was being sarcastic. Oh, so two were playing this game.
It was time to drop the intercourse bomb. "If you're going to have sex with my dad," I informed her, grinning at the face my dad was probably making over my shoulder, "you'll have to go somewhere else."
That much was actually sort of true. I heard banging every morning. I definitely didn't need to hear it at night, and especially not the sexxy luuvvve funnn bouncy happy kind.
Nova didn't even flinch, though. "I'm thirty-three, little miss," she said, rocking the condescending nicknames, "and I'll fornicate wherever I please, thanks."
Snap! She was good.
I busied myself trying to think of a solid comeback to that, and Dad provided it for me.
"Nova's a doctor," he offered. "She's here looking for a job."
Laid out in front of me like a platter. "There's a lovely place called Isabella's Cafe down the street, although you may have trouble getting above minimum wage with those legs of yours."
I was bluffing; her legs were fabulous. In hindsight, I should've mentioned that they wanted nurses and not doctors.
"You seem to have quite a bit of knowledge about the establishment," said Nova smoothly, and the conversation was over.
"I got chased by the police once," I said.
"Did you, now? For underage prostitution?"
"Please, I'm a B cup." I smiled. "Actually, for assaulting a postmaster."
"You shouldn't take family issues to work."
"I didn't. If that guy was my family, you'd be able to tell, because I'd be considerably uglier."
"Oh well. Go back to that first part. Why did the police arrest you? Did they read you your Miranda rights?"
Nova was very quick-witted, I noticed. It was a bit hard to keep up with her.
As we chatted, Dad finished up the pasta that I'd been cooking, and we all ate.
Happily consuming calories, I found myself listening to a breakup story. Nova was single. She'd been engaged to a man who then cheated on her. I muttered "Bastard" under my breath, and Dad elbowed me and mouthed something about language. "Do tell," I said.
I eventually found myself talking about Annalisa and the happenings of today, what with Detective Alistair Oxley and all that. Poor Dad seemed to be on the other team here. Nova was like my cool aunt, except that that would've meant she and Dad were probably incestuous at some point.
I told Dad and Nova about my antique shop detective, and then decided to go to bed.
Nova wasn't half bad, I concluded. I wondered if she was staying. Very snarky woman. Annalisa would've loved her.
As I climbed into bed, I heard Dad's and Nova's voices from the kitchen.
I decided I still didn't want her to stay, despite our compatibility.
==========================
I was woken up the next morning not by an alarm, but by a text from Arjun with seven words.
We are the counterculture. Crash swim practice.
I texted him back, and we arranged to meet right outside the pool.
I hadn't been exactly sure what he'd meant by that, so I wondered curiously as I walked over there. When I arrived, Arjun was already standing behind a post near the pool. I walked up.
"So what do you mean, crash swim practice?"
He grinned. "First of all, Xiu Li, I've had an idea."
I nodded, prompting him.
"We are going to be the craziest pranksters ever."
Ordinarily this would've sounded lame, but I rolled with it due to my current social situations. It would be a nice distraction from looking for Annalisa.
"Okay," I said, somewhat excited. "And now?"
"We stand silently at the edge of the pool and stare at people," he said.
It turned out to be a stroke of brilliance.
The swim team showed up and started practicing, and Arjun and I were already stationed at one end of the pool or the other. We stared menacingly and blankly at the girls as they did their warmups. I could tell when Marianna became the first to notice our presence, because she jumped a bit, whispered something to the Shannons and Ruby, and then they all looked up too.
I tried forcefully not to laugh. Just stared. I tried to channel my anger into one magnificent death stare.
For the entirety of swim practice, the girls looked up, disturbed, every few seconds. They weren't doing so hot, either. The coach yelled at them, but when they told him what was going on, he came over to talk to me.
"Good morning," he said, in that falsely jovial tone of one who does not, in fact, hope you have a good morning.
"Hello," I said calmly. "Can I help you?"
"Yes. You can stop interfering with my girls' swim practice."
"Are you kicking me out?" I said. "Ooh, I'm scared. That's never happened before."
The coach turned a bit red. "Xiu Li, I don't regret my decision to kick you off this team. Now perhaps you should get out of here before I report you."
Arjun and I walked backwards out of the pool area, still staring at the swimmers until we were out of sight.
Once we were, we high fived. "I can't believe we just did that," I laughed.
Arjun hugged me. "Okay," I said. "We have got to get an agreement down about this relationship of ours."
And so it was. While we walked over to the school, we came to a consensus that hugging was the limit of our physical contact, and he decided that I had to help him pick up guys when we went out places.
I frowned. "That hardly seems fair. And you're not even out."
"Whatever," said Arjun.
We'd arrived at the school.
"Brainstorm pranks throughout the day," I said over the bell ringing.
And I sauntered into first period, eager to see Hana's face in response to our lovely little trick.
She didn't even look at me. I felt smug. Sort of.
So I doodled all the way through math class and idly paid attention to cosines and secants. But I also followed my own instructions, and brainstormed some.
I looked over at the back of Hana's head, where her blonde ponytail swung slightly.
That had to go.
But that was a little too mean, and I didn't want to do any pranks that I could get in serious trouble for. This was just for fun. We weren't trying to hurt anyone.
I took a deep breath and continued writing.
hamster in locker
soap random things on her car
spam email?
scavenger hunt leading to a dirty sock
I laughed to myself silently, and folded up the list to show Arjun later.
I listened for the rest of math about more trigonometry things. I realized that I was coasting somewhat. I hoped the detective guy would be able to find Annalisa.
But what if he couldn't?
I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.
In 2nd period chem, Arjun and I brainstormed broader pranks. These would involve more people, and could not be construed as a personal attack on anyone. The two main ideas we had were setting up a table for signing autographs during lunch and hanging a "Ski Area" sign over the teachers' lounge and letting the students do the work themselves.
We agreed that we could do both of those tomorrow in school. For the first time since I'd been kicked off the swim team, I felt happy in school. Looking forward to tomorrow and all that jazz.
Of my Hana pranks, Arjun really liked the hamster idea, and he promised to help me coordinate it after school. Our conversation was interrupted, though, by the teacher handing back our centrifuge lab.
An A. We high-fived.
In lit class, I oinked every seven minutes and held my nose a couple times. The teacher didn't notice, thank God, but Adelaide gave me quite a stank face.
I didn't care. I was having much more fun than any of them. Besides, it was funny to watch their reactions to my oinking. Some scooted away from me. One brave girl bleated ten minutes before the end of class. I gave her a thumbs-up, but she avoided my gaze.
At lunch, we assigned responsibilities. I had to figure out Hana McMurray's locker combination. Arjun had to scope out teachers' planning periods and look at what times would be best for hanging a SKI AREA poster.
I had World History after lunch, and we were actually doing work. I couldn't do much brainstorming, and since I was slightly late coming in from lunch, Hana had already gone to her locker.
When the bell rang after class, I tailed Hana discreetly down the hallway, and dropped a couple papers on the ground so that I could stand near her and watch at her locker. I felt incredibly stealthy. Hana took no notice of me as I acquired the necessary information.
6, 32, 20.
I don't usually talk about art class, but I will today, because it's relevant.
In the middle of art, I raised my hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom.
I did go to the bathroom, but I also put a small stick in the door of one of the less-known entrances to the school. That way, we knew we could get back in later to deliver a hamster.
Right as I arrived back in art class, my counselor called me in and told me I needed to switch to P.E. now, since I was no longer on the swim team.
Urgh.
As if that wasn't bad enough, my counselor decided to talk to me about absolutely nothing for the remaining hour of the school day.
After the last bell rang, Arjun and I met up outside. After a quick chat, it was decided that we would go get a snack, swing by the detective's shop, and then go to the pet shop.
"I propped the door open," I said as we walked off the school grounds. He grinned. "Marvelous. Did you get her locker combination?"
I smiled. "Maybe."
"Stop screwing around! Did you or didn't you?" He punched my shoulder.
"Yeah, I did. 6, 32, 20. Now shut up."
A short while later, we walked towards Jack's Jems, one chocolate bar apiece fuller and carrying a bag of chips. But when we actually arrived at the shop, it was closed. Shut tight. I hoped that was good news.
"Now what?" said Arjun.
"I mean, I suppose maybe he's out looking for her?"
Neither one of us knew.
After some discussion of how to react, we opted for leaving a note on the door.
Hi Mr. Detective-- (Very clever on my part)
We dropped by, but you weren't here... we'll probably stop by again soon, we just wanted to know if you've made any progress towards finding Annalisa!
I felt a little adrenaliney at the prospect of possibly finding her. Maybe he would show up with Annalisa, and when I turned around, she'd be there... ack, I was getting distracted again.
--Xiu Li and Arjun
Then we went into the pet shop. Good lord, it was noisy in there. After searching for hamsters in the smelly, noisy chaos for a few minutes, we asked the store owner. He seemed somewhat grumpy, (ha, I just accidentally typed "frumpy" and fixed it) but we did get one important piece of information: there were no hamsters at Alfonso's pet shop. "We do, however, have rats," he said.
We exchanged glances.
"That'll do," I said.
We picked out a beautiful white rat. I actually grew a little attached to it in the short time it took us to walk back to the school, but I knew that what with Persephone and Fuzzballe, there was absolutely no chance of keeping a rat. At least not alive. I felt a little nauseous at that last thought.
We also had bought it a nice little cage, and some food and water. We didn't want the poor little rat to die for the sake of a stupid prank. Arjun called me a softie for being so adamant about getting it food, but I held firm.
Then, it was ninja time.
We sauntered casually down the street and back behind the school building.
The door, thankfully, was ajar, just as I'd left it. We crept through the door and removed the prop.
Then we walked down the hallway as stealthily as one can without anything to hide behind. Like, seriously, that last part had me really frightened for most of the endeavor.
Arjun followed me as we navigated through the halls to Hana's locker. "Right here," I said. "The top one."
"What did you say the numbers were?" I had never heard anyone whisper so quietly, but a couple of teachers were still in the building, and we couldn't risk it.
I mouthed as clearly as I could. I even held my breath. "6. 32. 20."
It didn't open.
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't know what would happen if we got caught, but I knew it wouldn't be a positive consequence. Thankfully, Arjun opened it easily after the second try. We fed the rat, left it with plenty of food, and placed the cage gingerly in Hana's locker.
Then we ran as silently as we could out of the school.
We'd gotten no farther than the orphanage before we started laughing maniacally. It was even funnier because it had been so ridiculously silent inside the school, and now here we were bellowing and chuckling and snorting uproariously. I love the word uproariously. Say it out loud!
"What do we do now?" I asked Arjun, holding my sides from laughing so hard.
He couldn't breathe. I started laughing at him again, and it was another two minutes before he responded.
"I don't know," he said.
"We could go to my place and watch TV. My dad probably wouldn't mind."
Arjun nodded, and we continued laughing as we made our way back to Castle Apartments.
We ended up watching about two-thirds of some action movie-- I think it was Die Hard-- and then he got a phone call and had to go home.
Not fifteen minutes after Arjun left, though, there was a knock on the door. I wondered if he'd come back. Dad had a key. Unless he'd forgotten it; that was definitely plausible.
So, against all the instructions of anyone who's ever taught in elementary schools or been a parent, I opened the door. Nope. I'd been wrong on both counts. It was Nova. "Uh, hi," she said.
I decided to play up the awkwardness. I just stared at her menacingly.
"I have a job now," she said. I blinked. "Is your dad home?" I was succeeding in making her uncomfortable, but I felt that I did owe her a response.
"No, not yet."
I silently sent her vibes to come in. So she came into the apartment. She didn't say anything to me; I was dying of laughter on the inside imagining what her thoughts were. Especially since I'd been so wonderously bitchy the night before. Instead of speaking, she sat down and watched the last part of Die Hard with me.
Then she did talk. "So, Xiu Li."
"Yeah?"
"So, I need to find a place to stay. I can't stay here with your dad."
"No, you can't." I was vehement about this.
"Well, aren't you a little hospitable ray of sunshine," she said, and grinned at me. I smiled faintly back.
"Sorry," I said, "but frankly, that's kinda weird."
She nodded.
"And there's no point unless you're going to get back together with Dad. Is that what you want?"
There was a very long pause following that one. Nova sighed.
"Not really, I guess." I gave her an inquisitive look.
"After my ex-husband, though, he's so much better," she added thoughtfully. "Your dad's a great guy, Xiu Li."
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to agree with that or if I was being informed of something. I exercised my fifth amendment rights once more.
"But no. I don't love him anymore," she said. "And you're right."
I nodded again.
"Do me a favor," Nova said. "I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Tell him I came by, but don't say what I told you. Say I said thanks for helping me in finding a job, and hopefully we can stay in touch."
I gave her a look. "'Stay in touch?'"
"Okay, okay. And that maybe I'll see him around."
"Better," I said.
She smirked at me, and headed for the door.
Wow.
Suddenly, I didn't want her to go.
"Wait!" I'd never seen her look so baffled.
"Can you stay a couple minutes?"
Now she just looked curious. "Why?"
Then one of those perfect-timing moments happened, and my phone rang.
It was Dad, saying he was going to be late.
"That was Dad," I told her. "He's going to be late getting home because he took the bus to the next town over to talk to their post office."
"Okay, great," she said. "But why am I still here? Remind me?"
I couldn't believe myself.
"Could you tell me stories about you and Dad?" I stared at the ground. "It's just, I never knew you. And I'd kinda like to know."
"Has Renshu really not dated anyone since I left?" I shook my head. "This could be awkward, Xiu Li. I hope you know that."
I nodded. I was doing a lot of that. Then I thought of something.
"Don't tell me anything nasty! I just want to know what he was like."
"Well," she said, and thought for a long time. "For one, he was a lot crazier. Really outgoing. Somewhat irresponsible."
That got my attention.
"Like how?"
"Well," said Nova hesitantly, "once he took me out to this party, the week before his dad died."
The pauses seemed to be getting increasingly unpleasant.
"You do know about that, right?" she said, as if she wished she didn't have to ask.
Dad and I don't really have that many heart-to-hearts. We're close, but he tells me only what I specifically asked about. I knew both his parents had died when he was 18. That was all.
"Sorta," I said. She took that as a no, but didn't explain it very well.
"Well. Um, your grandpa died in a car wreck, that Renshu was in."
I didn't even get a chance to react before she continued.
"We threw a party in this park. The point of the party was to be... wasted without being wasted. It was a bit of a social experiment."
I thought of my current pranks and marveled a bit at my dad.
"He wanted to see how people reacted around us. What's funny is that I was convinced that everyone was drunk, even though I knew they weren't. One girl threw up repeatedly, even." I laughed. "Two boys kissed each other and regretted it later. Everyone was so... drunk... that we all kind of forgot we weren't. It was the most interesting psychology ever."
That actually was really interesting, but she hadn't finished talking yet.
"Well, the police showed up, since we were underage, and tried to arrest us." She was laughing now. "And then they brought out the breathalizers, and we were all sober." I giggled at that.
"God, you should've seen their faces," she said, and snorted.
I was laughing uproariously. There's my word again.
"And Dad?"
"His dad thought it was funny as hell," said Nova, "but his mom wasn't so amused."
She put on a weird voice, still laughing.
"THE LAW IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH." We both sat there for a minute, still laughing.
"Well, you know that can be true, though," she said, more seriously.
I giggled.
"Dad should be home soon, though."
"Yeah. I should go."
Nova hugged me. "I almost wish I'd stayed to be your mom," she said. "Except really not. But you get me."
I smiled. "Yeah. Hopefully we can hang out in a noncreepy way."
We agreed that she was my aunt, and she left.
Dad came home about ten minutes later.
"Nova dropped by," I said nonchalantly. "She has a job, and she told me to thank you."
I was relieved to see that he didn't look completely heartbroken.
"Cool," he said.
He seemed completely exhausted.
I tried talking to him for a couple minutes, but eventually just told him to go to bed. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I opted to wait on that, on a hunch.
I went to bed about an hour after that, after checking my email and Facebook and such.
As my mind made the descent into slumber, I grinned to no one in particular about the rat awaiting Hana.
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